Long distance relationship or marriage

The word survive is used because everyone’s desire is to live within reach of their partner. But sometimes life gives you a good partner yet circumstance separates you physically. How do you cope?

1. TRUST EACH OTHER: Trust is the reason that will keep the fire burning. Trust is not just blindly given, show you are trustworthy by being open, having a record of dependability and honesty, keep your partner on the know, share details. Do things that make you your partner secure. Let your partner know of your schedules over there. Be predictable

2. DATE A LOT ON THE PHONE OR ONLINE: Unlike other more fortunate partners who get to meet each other so often to go on dates; make up for the lack or minimal frequency of physical connection by chatting and opening up with each other on the phone. This way, your fantasies and desire will remain directed towards your partner even though far apart. Let your cheeky and talkative ways come alive on the phone and online.

3. TALK ABOUT HOW IT HURTS: Share your feelings, say it when you feel low, pour your frustrations on each other brought about by the distance and walk together towards making it bearable.

4. HAVE A COMMON VISION: Define the future, where you two are heading to, talk alot about the future, the goal of why you are together, why you need each other; give each other a hope to hold on to.

5. COME UP WITH A TIME TABLE: You are distant from each other now but come up with a plan that will bring about a permanent solution where you two will finally be together for good. When there is no end in sight the heart gets tired of waiting for love to be within reach; but when a time frame is put, when the heart knows that the distance is only for 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years, that gives motivation to develop the love.

6. COMMUNICATE OFTEN: Use every available communication technology to warmly keep in touch as often as possible. Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Watsapp, Email, Text, Phonecall; don’t let it be out of sight, out of mind, out in the cold.

7. PRAY TOGETHER: Loving someone far away from you is tough. Pray together, commit your love to God, it will make the pain easy to bear. You are not physically where your partner is but God is.

8. MAKE AMAZING MEMORIES: The few times you get to be together, make those moments so amazing that when you part, you will have good memories to keep you going as you look forward to meeting physically again to make new memories.

9. KEEP OFF TEMPTATIONS: In as much as you love that person, a vacuum is left by that person not being physically present. Guard yourself so that you don’t turn to another to meet your emotional and physical needs. No one wants a partner far away, we all want our needs met here and now but long-distance relationships call for discipline, loyalty and commitment. Hang in there, your partner wishes to be near you, but for now just be patient, soon your needs in love will be adequately met.

10. GROW YOURSELF: Even as you wait for each other, life should not stall or stagnate. Don’t feel bad and lonely to the point you forget you need to grow as an individual, before you grow as a couple. Take this time you are apart to build you just as your partner is far away advancing himself/ herself at work or study so that you two can have the best future.

Remember, love is not about how near or far you are to each other but having each other. Someone can be sleeping next to their spouse every night yet be unfaithful, another can be miles away and be faithful to their spouse. Each couple has their own journey, walk it together.

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